Things We Should Stop Giving A Good Time

iv) Queen’s Christmas Message

I feel like when I suggested this as a good time article, more than a few people would see it as me being controversial just for the sake of it, instead of having a valid point behind me – as I always try to with this slot. I know already, before I even begin to delve into this, that a few people will read this with a closed mind and dispute absolutely everything I say. But delve I must, whether with purpose or not.

The fact of the matter is I don’t see much of a point in the Queen’s Christmas Message. I don’t watch it (which is already pretty much anyone’s argument to people who complain about T.V.) so you might think, how can I form an opinion on it? Fair point. But it’s not exactly a T.V event we can just ignore, is it? No matter what her majesty says, it’s repeated on news bulletins and twitter galore – you can digest her message without ever seeing her face. There’s even a Wikipedia page which outlines the key messages from all of Liz’s, and indeed all the George’s before her, speeches.

Apologies to all you royalists if you have a bad impression of me from that paragraph. I want it on record that I am not in any shape or form opposed to the royal family (poignant at the moment as Harry has just announced his engagement). I don’t partake in mass celebration when one marries or has a baby, and nor will I mourn massively when one dies, but that doesn’t make me opposed to them. I love what they do for the country, they all seem like fairly nice individuals and I strongly admire the Queen’s longevity. I know she has access to the best healthcare in the world, but her stubbornness to life is a beacon for all mankind.

So before I go declaring the United Republic of Gareth Hardman, let it be known that I’m actually pretty much a fan of our Queen.

I just don’t really want to listen to her speak on Christmas Day. It’s not like she offers much we don’t already know. It’s pretty much either congratulating people on achievements we’ve probably already heard, expressing her delight at her own families news during the year or taking something perceived as negative and offering a positive spin on it, or suggesting that if we pull together as a nation we can make it through.

So this year, I imagine she’ll welcome Meghan into her family, express regret over the divisions that Brexit is causing but reiterate that as a nation we can get through it and praise someone who has gone above and beyond for charity this year. She’ll probably mention the Invictus Games, and might even talk about this year being the 20th anniversary of Princess Diana’s death.

The fact is, most of that is personal and isn’t really our business anyway, and the rest of it is stuff that the politicians get abuse for when they say it. If Theresa May (a woman who, unlike our Queen, I don’t respect) went on T.V on Christmas Day and said we could make Brexit a success if we work together as a nation and get behind the idea, no doubt she’d be hounded for it. If the Queen says it (and I’m probably wrong and she won’t say it as it’s way too political for her) she’d be praised for her wisdom and strong leadership. Hypocrites. That’s who she reigns over, a nation of hypocrites.

I joke, I love you all. Yes, even you racist Brian (no, maybe not actually).

Our Queen and Royal Family live in a different world to anyone reading this blog. They don’t feel the pinch of anything quite like others do, and therefore I always find it a little patronising when they try to tell us how to live our lives. But I forgive them for the most part, because they bring in the tourism which generates our economy and provides us with jobs so in a way, they do their bit.

But on Christmas it’s different. Christmas isn’t a national holiday in the normal sense, it’s a very personal one. It’s a time for family, and gift giving and gift receiving and being with people you don’t always get a chance to spend quality time with. It’s a time to remember the year that’s gone in a very personal manner and reflect on stuff within your own mind, without the overall pressure of nationwide politics or worldwide struggles. Christmas is less about religion these days, and more about rebuilding and making bridges with old and new family members. It’s about creating memories we don’t have time at any other point to explore, it’s about having a chance to become a better you while enjoying food and dodgy jokes.

And I’m sorry Queenie, it shouldn’t be a day about you.

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